Today’s anonymous story is a perfect example of a near-universal phenomenon I call the Critical Moment. We make it through law school and land the high-paying firm job. We enter the firm determined to leap any hurdle between us and that prized 500-square-foot corner office on the 48th floor. Most of us trudge along for several years, billing away our waking hours, collecting our swollen paychecks, guzzling our Kool Aid. Then something happens. The firm finds a way to spit out a piece of our chomped morale, slashing the status quo, and we’re forced to confront the beast that we’ve been slowly feeding ourselves to for the past few years. Boyfriend recently informed me that, in a screenplay, this moment in a story is called the “pivot point.” I’d say just about every lawyer at a firm has a pivot point, an instant where you realize precisely what you’ve gotten yourself into. The real question is: what do you do next?

“Back when I was a paralegal I worked in the Corporate department of a
large white-shoe law firm.  I worked with an associate who was from
Australia.  She was staffed on a deal about eight months before her
sister’s wedding in Melbourne, Australia.  She had already put in the
vacation time for the wedding and made it very clear to the partners
staffing her on the deal that she needed to take that week off for the
wedding.

The Partners said they understood and that the deal would be done well
before the wedding.  They were, in fact, doing her a favor by staffing
her on the deal because then she would have a nice little “slow”
period right before the wedding.  The deal was due to close two months
before the wedding.

Months go by.  The people doing the deal decide that they need to
close in Tokyo and tell her that she’s going to have to work in Japan
for the next few months while the deal closes.  She says, “Okay, but
my sister’s wedding in in 3 months.  I have to go to my sister’s
wedding.”  The partners say she will be able to.  No problem.  Don’t
worry about it.  The deal will be done six weeks before the wedding.

She goes to Tokyo and works 15 hour days, works weekends and stays in
a hotel room for weeks on end.  The deal gets pushed back and instead
of staying out there for six weeks, suddenly it’s 12 weeks.  The deal
is to close right before her sister’s wedding.  She cancels her
vacation, but stresses to the partners that she has to go to her
sister’s wedding at least for the weekend.  The partners tell her not
to worry.  Of course she can go to the wedding, the deal will close on
Thursday before the wedding.  They buy her a ticket for Friday morning
from Tokyo  so she can be in her sister’s wedding in Australia on
Saturday.  She can even take a week after the wedding if she wants.
Don’t worry.

The week before the wedding the deal gets pushed back again.  Now it
won’t be closed by the time the wedding happens, but probably the week
after.  She says, “okay, but remember, I need to leave for my sister’s
wedding.”  The partners tell her not to worry, they know.
Thursday before her Friday morning flight she is informed that, given
that it is the weekend before the deal closes, she’s going to have to
work the weekend.

“But I have my sister’s wedding.” She says.

The partners don’t care.  They ask her where her dedication is, how is
she expected to be respected if she doesn’t take the job seriously.
The taunt, they cajole, they bully.  She holds firm.  She tells them
that she is going to her sister’s wedding.

She goes to her sister’s wedding and has a very nice two days with her
family.  She returns to the Tokyo Sunday night and is in the office
Monday morning.  She gets the cold shoulder.

She helps close the deal…three weeks after her sister gets married
(so she could have taken the weekend off without issue) and goes back
to NYC and back to work at the firm.

No one will give her any work.

She’s lazy and selfish and does not care about the client.  She’s
blackballed.  She was a sixth year associate.  She’ll never make
partner.  She starts coming in at 10am and leaving at 6pm.  She surfs
the Internet.  She leaves the firm six months later.”