Archive for the 'Life, the Universe and Nutella in Bulk' Category

Look Ma, It’s a Column!
Wednesday, August 3rd, 2011

So my weddings rant turned into a general rant column on HuffPo (a site that I have now been writing for since 2006, which is a bit…frightening?). The theme is “5 Truths about [X Topic] that No One Ever Tells You.” If you want to read the 5 truths on dating, click here. And for [...]

The 8 Truths About Weddings (That No One Ever Tells You)
Tuesday, July 12th, 2011

This piece originally appeared on The Awl.
Once you decide to have a wedding, there are many, many things to read: etiquette guides, Dos and Don’ts, planning checklists, vendor guides, “inspiration boards,” disaster stories, angry bridesmaid rants (”bitch made me wear PURPLE SHOES!”), even socio-political screeds about the cultural irrelevance of the whole thing. All of [...]

Everyone Loves the Person Arguing for Higher Taxes
Monday, May 23rd, 2011

I should start a Tumblr just for the emails I get in response to appearances like these. A few favorites:
“Saw you on CNBC the other day…Are you a writer still trying to figure out what she wants to do when she grows up…other than having those babies with this guy you said in your other [...]

To Do: Go on Fox and Praise China
Tuesday, December 14th, 2010

Watch the latest video at
There’s a sick pleasure in slipping the occasional pro-China comment in during a broadcast watched primarily by people who think Joe McCarthy had a point. (The joy is particularly acute since I no longer have to personally handle the resulting hate mail.)

When a Movie Is So Bad, It Transcends Badness
Friday, April 2nd, 2010

What do you say about the worst horror movie you’ve ever seen in your life? A lot, after a vat of coffee and around 30 Easter chocolates. To celebrate  in the cinematic awfulness with me, click here for the latest Horror Chick column, in which I discuss Birdemic: Shock and Terror. And for God’s sake [...]

One More on the List of ‘Terrible Vampire Movies’
Wednesday, January 13th, 2010

There are a couple types of bad movies. Well, 2 types really. There are movies that are simply bad — bad acting, bad plot, bad dialogue, bad effects, or simply an overall melange of badness that seeps through every aspect of the film. Then there are bad movies that are incurably bad, but still manage [...]

The Decade in Horror (Movies, That Is)
Monday, January 4th, 2010

Happy Non-2009! Congratulations on surviving with sanity (presumably) intact! O brave new year that has such capacity for craziness in’t! (With apologies to Aldous Huxley, and Shakespeare for that matter.)
Given that we’ve moved on to a new decade, the editors at The Awl have been running a fascinating “End of the ’00s” series by [...]

Sigh. Did I Mention It Was a Blog Post?
Tuesday, December 15th, 2009

Oh well — at least I’m under Brian Williams and Katie Couric:
Notable Quotable Awards for 2009: Nominees for Long Live Camelot Award
UPDATE: Turns out I won this shit. At this point, nothing to do but laugh. It’s what Mary Jo would have done! (Have a blast with that one, right wing.)

New Way to Spend My Days
Tuesday, November 24th, 2009

When I’m not ranting about slasher movies or toddlers in stripper heels, I do occasionally do some legitimate sit-in-an-office work (though it still involves writing and futzing around on the Internet, so it’s tough to really call it “work” — somehow that term seems reserved for, well, stuff that sucks). Anyway my new gig is [...]

Say Hello to the New Film Genre: The Unintentional Horror Movie
Wednesday, November 18th, 2009

Horror movies are honest. They let you know exactly what they are from the get-go. Slasher flick? Gonna have a guy (usually) who stalks and murders a bunch of teenagers. Zombie film? You’ll have a smattering of undead making a play for any non-zombie life form, while the still living work to outwit them.
These [...]