And they just keep on slithering into my Inbox:
From: Chris Pillow
To: opinionistas@gmail.com
Date: Jun 20, 2006 8:34 PM
Subject: Congrats!
Congrats on being one of the most hated women on the internet! Your hatred of Maddox and Tucker Max is pointless. Both authors guide their work toward men, and the women who do read their work are interested in it and are not forced to read it. If i may quote maddox , ” you don’t fart sunshine and rainbows, bitch your shit stinks too”, meaning as sexist as their work is so is yours. The whole rebellious women movement is over. Most women don’t care. And if they do care why should I ? Because im not holding you out of a job. I have no problem with you taking a male job, as long as you dont whine about it. You wanna be a lumberjack or a plumber go right ahead, but dont complain. The world sucks for everyone and I wish women like you would get over it and do something about it instead of sitting behind their computer complaining in everyones ear.
P.S. - I hope you catch fire and die for the sake of maddox and funny people everywhere
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Oh for God’s sake, people. Pathetic absurdity of this boy’s tirade aside, this is getting ridiculous. We’re going on three weeks later, and the world is filled with deeply troubling issues and events far more worthy of your time, attention and inevitable bile. Honestly now.
In the rational world, filled with human beings blessed with moderate sanity and the ability to think and act uncontrolled by raw impulses, the response to my June 6 piece in The Huffington Post has been as follows: “No fucking duh. Where’s the controversy? How is anything you said even remotely controversial?” And, as rational people often are, they’re right. Let’s examine my main points, which consisted of the following:
A) Men who produce endless stories about banging lots of chicks and refer to anything or anyone they dislike as “cunt” or “twat” possess a deeply ingrained dislike of women, stemming from unresolved issues with their parents (’cause lets face it, that’s where all of our issues stem from, it’s one of the sublime and universal truths of humanity).
B) The men who flock to and idolize these anti-femininity zealots do so because they identify with their statements, either as a desire for a vicarious lifestyle or because they like seeing their own views about women reflected and articulated.
I’d say we can go ahead and stamp a big fat “No shit Sherlock” on those remarks. This is not rocket science. Or even Psych 101. Do I think my subjects’ endless disgorge of confusion about masculine identity has entertainment value? Yeah, on occasion. Is their material ever funny? Sure. Does that immunize them against criticism of their obvious (and flogged to death) humor tactics? Fuck no. I became a writer to write about observations in daily life. This was a pretty basic observation. If you want to screech and bluster about vendettas and ulterior motives, rant that I have “no right” to publish a piece critiquing this genre because I’m a “lowly nobody” or “not as popular” as my subjects (ridiculousness of that argument notwithstanding, do your research: The Huffington Post gets more traffic than all frat-lit sites combined times twelve, and that’s before we even get to Yahoo News), then be my guest. To be quite honest, I could give a flying fuck. I call ‘em like I see ‘em, and this was one sight begging to be called out.
What still amazes me is the reaction of my subjects. Were I in their position, I would have skimmed my article, glanced around and said aloud to no one in particular, “Bitch, I’m a motherfucking New York Times Bestselling author and you’re not, so kiss my royalty-collecting ass,” then resumed my day. Instead they flew into a frenzied mania, shrieking and flailing in self-righteous outrage and bleeding testosterone all over the internet. It was a fascinating display of male insecurity in all its applied force. Come on boys, why so up in arms? Don’t you have books to sign, anger to heap, faceless chicks to nail?
When all is said and done, I did these boys a favor - slimy publicist or no, there’s no way they could have bought this kind of publicity. When I publish a book that debuts on the bestseller list and you all want to compose a piece in the legitimate media decrying the innumerable ways in which I suck ass, go right ahead - I should be so lucky. But until then, for the love of God, go find some free online porn or perhaps even try leaving the precious radiation glow of your computer screen, and kindly get the fuck over it.