“You know, Mel, I gotta be honest with you,” the party host confesses, flopping on his spotless white sofa as I scuttle over to make room. I brace myself; it’s a phrase never uttered unless followed directly by something unflattering. “When I first met you, I thought you were decent looking. I said to people, ‘That’s nice, Boyfriend’s found himself a cute girl, good for him.’” He gestures with his wine glass, nearly coating me with Pinot Gris, his face contorted in a painfully earnest expression. I open my mouth to tell him that the brutal honesty portion of the party is usually reserved for after midnight, but decide at the last minute to hold my tongue.
“But then,” he continues, “after you decided to quit law and change your life, it was like Whoah! All of a sudden you looked so different. You got beautiful. Your whole face changed. It was amazing.” He lolls his head to the side to make eye contact. “Seriously, I mean it.”
I give him my best dubious expression, a frown mingled with a rueful grin. “Uhh, am I expected to thank you for that?”
“What? I meant it as a compliment!”
“D, I’d classify that as a skewed compliment. ‘You were barely fuckable when I first met you, but now you’re high on my list!’ Just what every girl is dying to hear.” I slap his arm to show him I’m teasing, but his face plummets.
“No! I mean, I didn’t mean it like tha-”
I grin and shake my head to put him at ease. “No worries. You’re right. It’s amazing what a little life fulfillment will do to your complexion.” And your health, and your relationships, and your energy levels, vitality, motivation, endurance… “I can’t even conceive of the mindset I had a year ago. I felt awful all the time.”
“And you looked it! You were really pale, drawn, sort of pinched -”
“Yes, ok. Thank you D. I appreciate your honesty.” An edge crawls into my voice.
“Now you look so happy, like things are easy.”
“Thank you, but things definitely aren’t easy - life is a lot harder in some ways than it was before.”
He sits back, downing the remaining contents of his wine glass, and ponders my words for a moment. “Yeah these law firms, I’ve learned what it’s all about.” We shake our heads simultaneously and recede into the couch cushions, both choosing to let this statement lie. “Do you ever regret leaving, doing what you did?” he asks finally.
“Nope. Not ever.”