Call this a copout post if you wish, but I get a lot of solicitations for Manhattan info. Where to go, what to see, where to eat, where to get shitfaced and stumble into the street belting Human League lyrics. True, there are about 7 million internet sites offering information of this kind, but none of them are written by me. Until now, that is. I’ll preface by saying that I’m hopelessly biased, as is every other resident of this city. We’ve all planted our stakes in a certain area that we consider home, and we scoff at anything not in our ten-block comfort radius.

I live downtown, and being a lazy downtown snob I won’t travel above 14th Street to visit a restaurant or bar. If it’s some new culinary monstrosity in Chelsea or the Time Warner Center and someone else is footing the bill, I’ll consider it, but only if the weather is nice. And Shake Shack doesn’t count - I would march barefoot to Mecca if that’s where they sold Shack Burgers. But other than that, any suggestion I give will be highly geographically slanted. So here goes, take it or leave it (Note: I haven’t provided addresses/locations - places like Citysearch will be happy to do that for you):

RESTAURANTS:

Sushi: Tomoe if it’s warm and you don’t mind the obscene wait. Otherwise Sapporo East

Thai: Elephant, Holy Basil, Lovely Day

Korean: Dok Suni and Sura

Chinese: Walk to Chinatown and take your pick. If you can ever find Joe’s Shanghai, eat there, but for God’s sake, don’t bite directly into the boiling hot soup dumplings. Especially not in front of a table full of federal judges during a summer clerkship.

Mac & Cheese/Meatloaf: 24 Prince, new favorite of tipsy bloggers

Italian: Basso Est always & forever, Johns on 12th Street for chicken parm, Lupa if you can talk your way in, Da Silvano if you want to see famous people speaking in snooty Euro accents, Il Mulino if you never want to eat again.

Date Night: Peasant or Il Buco

Pizza: All Hail Lombardis, or DeMarcos for a slice

Mexican: La Palapa - great mole, and it’s fun to say four times fast.

Cuban: Habana’s been taken over by people with Blackberries (aka people like me). Try Cubana Cafe.

Brunch: Cafes Orlin or Colonial for hipster eggs, Acme Cajun for a grease extravaganza, and Clinton Street Bakery, though it isn’t worth the 2-hour wait. No eggs are worth a 2-hour wait.

Just Plain Awesome: Spotted Pig, but only if it’s a weeknight and you hire an NYU student to start standing in line for you at 4:30.

Pierogis at 3 AM: Veselka, of course.

Pastrami, Blintzes and Minor Weekend Chaos: Katz’s. Eat, drink and clog arteries.

Tiny But Great Place Owned By Cool Australian Surfers: Rubys on Mulberry St

Vegetarian or Raw: Uhhhh, definitely asking the wrong person.

BARS:

If It’s A Weeknight:

Von - extremely chill with great wines (not to mention location of my first date with Boyfriend), and if your BAC is reaching critical levels and you’re starting to spout moronic comments, you can order pasta from Bianca next door (wish I had known that during the date).

Temple if it’s with people from work

MercBar for a snooty Soho scene

Miladys for a truly unique (and far more entertaining) Soho scene usually involving a fight or two

Pegu Club or Angel’s Share for martinis in cold weather

Roof of 60 Thompson for martinis in warm weather

Anywhere else that serves martinis

If It’s A Weekend:

Head to Brooklyn