It’s officially been three months since the start of Project Cohabitation, and neither of us has resorted to bodily harm or heavy drinking, which I’m taking as a good sign. In the interests of posterity, I’ve decided to keep a running list of habits that Boyfriend has picked up from me since we started living together:
Beginning sentences with “HONestly”
Setting foot in actual grocery stores and purchasing uncooked food
Serenading the cat with English Beat and Iggy Pop songs, changing every lyric to “Meow”
Removing trash from the apartment on a semi-regular basis
Scarfing Nutella out of the container before going to bed
Singing along to the entire campy melodramatic musical score of ‘The Rock”
And, of course, habits that I’ve picked up from him:
Fiddling with every speaker, tuner and subwoofer in the apartment for a minimum of five minutes to achieve immaculate sound quality before turning on the TV
Using the coatrack as a second closet
Eating the occasional vegetable
Tossing every throw pillow and sofa cushion on the floor before actually sitting on the couch
Swallowing horse-pill vitamins with labels like “Thermo Boost Anabolic Mega Monohydrate” and “Pro Performance Nitro Energy Magnesium Explosion” in the morning
Automatically flipping to “The Rock” every time it’s on Cinemax (i.e. every night for the past three weeks)