February 3rd, 2006

And here we have the horror story of the day thanks to K. I stared at it for a few minutes in utter disbelief, but then decided it was incredible enough to be completely true:

Before I became an attorney I worked as a paralegal at a New York
City (VERY white shoe) law firm. It was the go-go 90s. Associate
salaries were going up by astronomical sums every year, everybody was
working around the clock. As a paralegal I kept a clean change of
cloths, shampoo, toothpaste and a toothbrush, a blanket and a pillow
in my file cabinet…just in case. I used those items regularly.
Other people did exactly the same thing.

I worked with a tenth year associate (she made partner by year 11) who
worked on my matters and also was running a huge litigation. She
lived in New Jersey and had over an hour commute. She would generally
make it in the office by 8am and leave by 9 or 10pm. Everyday. She
was married and had two small children. She was a nice woman, but
horribly pulled in 17 directions.

Apparently (and I obtained most of this information from her
secretary) she was in the office (as usual) checking her bank balances
and noticed that $100,000 was missing from her joint investment
account. She called her husband to find out if he knew anything about
it. Her husband, a junior partner at a small firm in NJ, took her
call. He knew what had happened. (the following is a reconstructed
conversation based on hearsay and conjecture):

Wife: Husband, are you aware that there is $100,000 missing from our
joint bank account.

Husband: Yes, I took it out.

Wife: Why did you take the money out? You should have asked me before
you did that. What did you use it for?

Husband: I didn’t ask you because I knew your wouldn’t approve.
Besides, I bought a condo with it.

Wife: Why did you buy a condo? Where is it? I don’t understand.

Husband: Wife, I left you more than a month ago. I’ve moved in to an
apartment with my secretary. I was wondering how long it would take
you to notice.

Apparently he had always been a light sleeper so when she came home
late she slept in the spare bedroom and had sort of just moved in to
it for that past four months. In the meantime he was around on
weekends when she was home (working from home) so she saw him. It
never occurred to her that he had left. They had been together since
law school.

Comments are closed.